My Big (But Oh So Little) First Grader

He sleeps....
"But Mom, What if I do not know where to put the garbage after I am done eating?" "How many minutes are in a full day?"
"What if I do not know where to go and I get lost?"
"What if they make me run at recess and I do not want to run around the whole playground?"

The thoughts and fears that go through a little six year old's mind are endless. He was "off" tonight and I was a little short after asking him to get his pajamas on for the 15th million time. Then when we finally calmed down enough to let out the real reason he was "off"...it all came out - tears and all, his little chin quivered, his lips got pursed and the tears started to roll. My oldest of two boys is starting First Grade tomorrow and he is absolutely terrified of all the unknowns. It is very easy to forget how much we expect of them so fast and how it can get overwhelming for a mommy let alone a little first grader that is trying to be so big!

I know there will be tears shed again tomorrow morning as I walk him to the bus and to his classroom. As I watch him be a big boy and go off to his first full day of school. With his first cold lunch and so many other firsts. Who am I joking the tears are rolling as I type this. It all goes so fast and I know at times we want to just hold them where they are and keep them little and protected in our safety forever - but a good friend pointed out that we need to celebrate growing up and let them know how proud we are of them for growing so big and so fast!  All while we let that little tear full of joy, anxiety, and so many other feelings flow freely down our face!

I am not sure what it is going to be like having him gone for so long and having my yougest at home with us - what great bonding time we will have. We will miss our big first grader and I am sure it will feel like an eternity waiting for his bus to come up the road tomorrow afternoon.

But for now, it is time to begin the celebration of starting a new chapter of our lives and make a great first cold lunch for my Big First Grader! He is going to be great!!!

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